Seeing Butterflies with Abba

My husband drove us toward Phoenix while my teenage girls slept. I had read several chapters of a book about heaven and was longing for another visit to Heaven. I slipped my earbuds in, leaned my head against the door and closed my eyes to block out the world, surrounded by my favorite worship music. I cried out for Abba, my Heavenly Father, who I have been told to call “Daddy or Papa” in the Secret Place.

Striding out of the darkness comes the familiar tall, broad-shouldered, white-haired, late 30’s figure of Daddy. I sprinted to him, leaping up where He can catch me and bring me into His arms. I wrapped my arms around His neck. “Daddy, I’ve missed you!”

“I’ve missed you, too!” the deep voiced thought comes clearly into my mind.

“You told me to practice being in the Secret Place all the time, but I got so busy… I’m so sorry.” He reassured me that it was okay. In Heaven, there is no choice but honesty. What you are feeling and thinking just comes right out, plain for all to see. Suddenly I found myself saying, “It would be so much easier if my visits were more vivid, like Kim’s. I wish I could really BE here and it could be MORE real!” Yes, I was really that ungrateful! Here I have what so many long for, and all I want is more.

Daddy put me on the ground with a fond smile, “Then let’s go.” He took one step and I was right beside Him, holding His hand, practically leaping with excitement. I pulled His hand to go faster, anxious to see what I’ve desired for more than four years.

I surged ahead, pulling with all my might. Darkness closed in. I had a hold of His hand, but I could no longer see Him. A few more steps and even His hand disappeared. “Daddy! Daddy! Where are you!” I cried out searching the darkness. Turning around, I found Him back a ways.

I jumped into His arms, wanting His presence more than seeing Heaven. “I lost you! I don’t want to be anywhere without you!”

He swung me around, cradling me in His arms while I faced outward so I could see in front of me. “Then rest here. Let me take you there.”

I snuggled into the warm, loving, blanket that is His presence. “I want to be here always…” I whispered.

“You can,” Daddy whispered back. “Just rest and I will get you to where you want to go.” In a blink we were on a grassy hill with massive butterflies fluttering about. Each one was several feet across and no two looked alike. I gasped in delight at the wonderful new sight. “Would you like to hold one?” He asked.

I nodded vigorously. “Hold out your arm,” A picture of what I was to do accompanies the thought. Obediently, I held out my right arm. Within seconds, a butterfly landed. The dominant color is pale yellow, but there is sparkling gold on the edges of the wings that swirled around in patterns on the upper portion of the wing. Two large, impossibly vivid, purplish-pink spots are on the bottoms.

The beautiful creature turns toward me and I braced myself for what I assumed will be a giant bug more than a foot tall. The four-legged feline creature was nothing like the insects we have on Earth. It was almost like a house cat in appearance, but with sharper angles in its face and a lankier body. The chocolate fur looked soft and inviting. My hand reached out to pet the animal, but I hesitated, unsure if it would be welcome. “Yesss pleeesse,” the words were a thought from the creature on my am. I scratched under its chin; the coat was somewhere between a rabbit and a cat.

My husband was in need of direction and rousting me out of my meditation. The creature flew away and I said a quick, “Thank you,” to daddy before I left.

Most of you have probably heard the phrase, “Rest in God.” This quick trip to Heaven put that in a whole new perspective. Resting in Him isn’t so much of a lack of action as it is a mental state. I am now working on enjoying every moment with Him, right where I am. This can only be done by trusting that He is taking us to where we will be the most happy.

It would be more than a week later before I would realize that this needed to be applied to the ministry I had begun in January of this year. When I see so many in need and know there is so much to do, it is hard to put things down at the end of the day. I was on my laptop until 9:30-10 PM every night for the first five months. This wasn't right: I was abandoning my family as I rushed to get everything done only to find handful of new items demanding my attention.

Resting in God means doing what you can and trusting that everything will be done at the right time. The Father knows how much time we have and He will send helpers if we will depend on Him instead of trying to do it all ourselves. I am more determined than ever to spend time each and every day communing with Him, wherever I may be!

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