Thursday, January 22, 2015

What Does My Guardian Angel Look Like? - August 9, 2014

(To Heaven and Back Again series)


My back and neck ache from long days at work. I roll to my stomach to stretch the muscles as I begin my nightly prayers. My hands begin to tingle almost immediately. Too tired to roll over, I relax and begin worshiping the Lord.

I picture the Lord and Heaven before me, but my mind insists that up toward the ceiling, up towards the sky is the direction where Christ is. “Heaven is all around, there is no up or down, it is right in front of you,” whispers, the Holy Spirit. I recall the movie Enders Game and how they had to train their minds about movement in space. Peace surrounds my heart as my mind places the picture of the Lord somewhere before me, right in the middle of the mattress.
Physical space doesn’t matter in the realm of the spirit where Heaven lies.” As the words solidify in my thoughts, I become comfortable and let go of reality completely. Waves of energy cascade down my body. Soon they are coming so fast I have only time enough to think of one word, “Jesus.”

Time stands still, or perhaps doesn’t exist at all for it seems like this goes on for hours until the energy builds in my chest, pushing outward with gentle insistence. My body heats as if I have a temperature of 105. My mind remains focused on the Lord. I picture His white robe and I see my hand slip into His. Energy explodes, then ebbs quickly away. His presence is gone. My heart pounds fast and hard. The clock tells me it has only been 30 minutes.

I roll over onto my back. “I don’t understand, I didn’t lose focus this time, and yet it’s over.

Tears of frustration slide down my cheeks. It’s been weeks now. When He calls, I worship and meditate: It’s the same every time. What am I missing? Am I doing something wrong? He said ‘practice.’ Am I getting any better at it? Sure, my muscles don’t spasm anymore because I’ve learned to surrender completely, but it’s been three weeks since I learned to surrender completely to the Lord: three weeks and still the same thing is happening time and time again.

Lord, You are asking me to do something that has never been done before by anyone but You in all these years. I know You are probably getting as frustrated with me as with Your disciples: You have preformed so many miracles, yet, here I am with my lack of faith needing to be reassured again…" a sigh escapes me. I feel like a stumbling child. "I want you to know that appreciate all You have given me and I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but I could use a little more encouragement so that I know I am still heading in the right direction.

I will continue doing this until you tell me differently… but if it is Your will that I am going to be going to Heaven, well, didn’t Jesse Duplantis meet his guardian angel before he went? (Read more about Jesse, CLICK HEREJesse recognized the angel when he came to get him. If it is possible, if it wouldn’t be too much to ask, since I am going to Heaven, could I meet my angel? He has done such an awesome job taking care of me, it would be nice to see him.

The next morning, as with every morning after the Lord calls me, my blood sugar is low and I am starving. The next night my mind is tired and I fall asleep almost instantly. On Sunday, I wake refreshed, eager to go to church.

The parking lot is full because we are running late. "Let's try over that way." I direct Tony to the back of the lot near the youth building, following a gentle urging from within. 

Usually we sit in the third row; Tony likes to be close. Church has filled up today, so find a place farther back. After the worship ends, the pastor says, “Turn to your neighbors and say ‘good morning’ to at least three people that you don’t know.”

Sticking out my hand, I say, “Good morning” to the person in front of me and the one beside me. My hand is extended as I swivel around to greet the person behind me.

I am just over five foot seven, so I don’t often feel small. Words stick in my throat as my hand drops when I look at the man sitting behind me, feeling as tiny as a child. Tony suddenly seems very short, at five foot ten he doesn’t even come up to the top of the man’s shoulder. “He’s a giant!” I think.

The man extends his hand and I move mine into his. His grip is strong and firm, yet surprisingly soft as both his hands surround mine. His jaw is covered with sandy-brown hair: close cropped beard that is more like a long five O’clock shadow with a strong straight nose. As my eyes move upward, the jump to his forehead – strong and not overbearing, topped by curly hair about an inch long on top and nearly shaved on the sides – a military type of cut. It takes considerable effort to force my eyes to meet his – after all, this is what you do when you shake hands, you look the person in the eyes. 

All I see is a white fog across this face, like a mask hiding his eyes. My mind is whirling as he says, 

My mind is whirling as he says, “Hello, my name is Richard. It is nice to meet you.” At least I think he said Richard, I could be wrong:  the deep, strong, rich quality of his voice shocked me so much that I barely heard his words.

My cheeks blush as I realize he is waiting for me to give my name… what is my name? “H-hi,” I stutter, “I’m Lynn.”

Chris Hemsworth as Thor
The meet and greet is ending so I retake my seat, thinking, “My goodness… he is the biggest guy I’ve ever seen! His shoulders are literally twice the size of mine.” My heart races like a teen meeting her first crush. The perfection of his physique overrides the fact that I couldn’t even see the color of his eyes. I’ve never seen a big guy so well proportioned. He was so perfect… so HOT! He'd make Thor, Chris Hemsworth, look small!

Fifteen minutes later I chide myself, “This is church! What am I thinking… This is God’s time, and you are married… get your mind where it belongs!

The preacher has begun the sermon about worshiping God in spirit and in truth. I say a silent prayer asking God to forgive my wayward mind. A short time later, the whisper of the Holy Spirit enters my mind, “You did ask to meet your angel, didn’t you?”


Him? But this is church! Why would he come to church?

The voice in my mind insists,  Does it not say in the Word (the Bible): Be careful when you entertain strangers; they may be angels in disguise.

Could he really be my angel?" I think.

The small voice of the Spirit replies, "He does look strong enough to battle a pack of demons with a sword, doesn't he?” (See that story in Angels Believe in You.)

Genesis 6:2 says, “The sons of God (angels) saw the daughters of men were fair, and they took wives of all they desired and chose… There were giants on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God (angels) lived with the daughters of men, and they bore children to them. These were the mighty men who were of old, men of renown.”

I see now why they were able to ‘take all they desired and chose’ if they were that good looking,” I think to myself. “Their children would be ‘giants’ indeed!

When church lets out, I take small steps hoping that the big guy will come out in front of me so I can get another look at him, maybe talk to him a bit and verify he is my angel. Tony whispers, “Sweet heart, why are you moving so slow? We need to get the girls.”

What can I say? Honey, I want to talk to the super-hot big guy who was sitting behind us because I think he is my angel? I sigh, picking up the pace. When I move out into the aisle I turn toward my husband asking, “Do you want me to get Sarah?” trying to get a look at the guy over his shoulder.

“Sure, I’ll get Ashley,” he says, turning toward the youth building in the back of the parking lot.

I search the crowd. The guy is nowhere in sight. How did such a big guy disappear so quickly? He’s at least a foot and a half taller than everyone else!”

When I come out of the children’s building with Sarah I see the mystery man striding toward the youth building in the back of the parking lot. Though I can only see the black shirt and blue jeans from behind, there is no mistaking that giant form. 

My eyes follow him as I climb in the front seat of our car. Tony pulls out of our spot and I turn around in my seat, watching him stride past all the cars and head around behind the youth building. "Where is he going?" I think... "There is no parking back there, just a chain link fence separating us from the off-ramp of the highway.Helplessly I watch as the man disappears.

If I were alone, I'd follow him to see if perhaps there is a motorcycle back there. But my family is with me.  What reason could I possibly give that sounded half-way sane? I could say, Hey, honey, lets follow that cute, massive, hunk and see what car he gets into? or even worse, I think that guy is my angel, can we follow him? We pull out of the parking lot as I crane my neck trying to see if a bike appears. No bike, no car exits the area.

All day long I can’t shake the idea that I have met my angel in person. When we crawl into bed I ask Tony, “Can I ask you something about church this morning?”

“Sure,” he replies.

He’s going to think I’m crazy, that I’ve gone off the deep end!” I think. “Never mind,” I tell him.

“What?” Tony asks.

“It was nothing, really,” I insist.

“Look,” Tony says, “this is the third time I am asking you, what did you want to talk about?”

“I was just wondering…” I think furiously of how to phrase this in a way that doesn’t make me sound totally mental. “Did you meet that big guy behind us? Did you catch his name?”

Tony shrugs. “I don’t think I shook hands with him.”

“Oh, okay.” I hustle into the bedroom, hoping to avoid any more discussion.

As soon as I close my eyes I think, “Lord, was that really my angel?” A wave of energy so strong that it is a thrilling caress races from my head to my toes. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

I enter into worship and relax, completely secure in the fact that I am being watched over by a powerful servant of the Lord God Almighty. The outward pushing is noticeably stronger this time and it lasts a bit longer. It breaks and ebbs away without my concentration wavering one bit.

When I wake up I call my mom, eager to tell her about my weekend. Both her and my good friend, Kate Decker, are very enthusiastic about what happened. Neither of them think I’ve lost a few marbles!

On Tuesday when I have lunch with Tony I finally have the nerve to tell my husband about the experience. After relating the request I made on Friday and what happened on Sunday, I ask him, “What do you think? It was really weird, wasn’t it? Such a big guy squished in there between those two families. Normally people don’t sit so close to a guy that big; they leave the seat next to him open.”

“Lynn, I don't know what you are talking about 'a big guy at church.' I don’t recall anyone that I met, and definitely not someone unusual.”

“But he was right behind you… you have to remember seeing a guy who was so big you’d be staring right at his nipples!”

“I’m sorry, I really don’t,” he insists.

Tony didn’t see the seven to eight-foot giant man sitting right behind him. I have met my angel. I didn’t even get to ask him anything! This post could have been called "Interview with an Angel" but obviously that isn't what God didn't want because he set this up perfectly - no time to ask even a single question! I suppose it will have to wait until I see him as he escorts me around Heaven.


Since that moment, I am completely relaxed about my impending visit. The Lord introduced me to my angel. It will happen. I will enjoy each and every moment in the presence of the Lord until that time, after all, it’s not the destination, but the journey that matters.

In March of 2014 I released Angels Believe in You. This book covers the last 13 years of my life:

  • Seen Angels and Demons
  • Miracles from God (medically documented)
  • Signs from God - including hearing His audible voice







Eager hearts cry out, hoping for a single word to confirm that He hears us. Yet, many times the only sound is silence. Over the years I have heard several reasons why God speaks to some and not to others. One night, as I tossed and turned, I brought each of these reasons before the Lord, stating why each of them did not line up with who I thought He was. 

Words rose from my soul, pleading for Him to reveal why He has remained silent when a single word from Him would mean so much to so many. For the next few hours, God used things I learned about years ago and things I had just discovered to show why He talks to some and why He doesn’t, and in demonstrative ways. 

In His grace, He also showed me how people could hear more from Him. Basic instructions on how to hear more from God and how to be led by Him are included in this book. Thank you for taking time to consider the answers I received and share with you now.


Other posts about my journey with God:

February 2014 - In God's Time

May 4, 2014 - God and Meditation

May 14, 2014 - The Dance of Worship

July 20, 2014 - Biblical Support for the Journey

August 9, 2014 - What Does My Guardian Angel Look Like?

October 17, 2014 - The Difference Between With and Without

January 4, 2015 - The First Among Many

January 11, 2015 - How Hard do You Push?

September 1, 2015 - Is the Trip Still On?

September 13, 2015 - An Official Title

October 5, 2015 - Angelic Confirmation of the Appointment

October 9, 2015 - Miraculous Confirmation

December 24, 2015 - The Last Week of 2015

January 24, 2016 - Correction, Encouragement & Dreams from the Spirit

February 21, 2016 - I'm All In

February 27, 2016 - What is a Tetrad Blood Moon Prophet

June 1, 2016 - First Assignment as a Prophet (Anointed by an Angel)

September 25, 2016 - Seeing Jesus

September 30, 2016 - Wrestling with God

January 2, 2017 - The Final Test - 313

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