Questions for Christ - January 18, 2015

My husband, Tony, drives us toward Taco Time -- one of our favorite places to grab a cheap lunch. I rub my eyes sleepily. "Another long night meditating?" he asks.

"I wish. Since it's Sunday, mind if we talk about God for a bit?" I reply hesitantly. Although Tony has come a long way in his walk with God, I know that at times he is frustrated by my focus on Him, or perhaps by His lack of direct communication at times. (See post on June 7, 2014: Click HERE)

"Sure, what's going on?" Tony says.

"A new acquaintance messaged me last week. Her daughter, Delaney, is in the hospital. Kori asked me to pray for her. Of course I said a quick prayer on the spot, but last night I brought Delaney before the Lord as I was entering meditation." I sigh. "What I saw while I was praying, well, I won't say for absolute sure that it was God – after all, I made up my own fantasy world for my first series of books...but I will say that I hope it is what God intends."

Tony waits patiently for me to continue. Gathering my thoughts, I decide to start at the beginning. "When God first spoke to me, and healed me miraculously of my deviated septum and allergies, my first thought was: Wouldn't it be great if God was telling me that whoever I prayed for would be healed, just like it was with the disciples of Jesus? But I was told that was impossible, that God doesn't work that way. Then when I went to those large gatherings of Christians, I saw for myself: there were always some that didn't receive their healing - many were very upset about it. 

"This last year God has made it very clear that I am going to Heaven – I even met Richard, the angel that watches over me 24/7. (See that story, click HERE) I firmly believe I will get to speak to Jesus, who was the Christ in person, sooner rather than later. God has given me advance notice and I have come up with some pretty intense questions for the Lord.

 

“The Bible says: 

• As He was in this world, so are we. (1 John 4:17) 

• And these signs will accompany those who believe...They shall lay hands on the sick and they shall recover. (Mark 16:18)

"Lord, after you appeared to the disciples in all your glory and they knew you were God, not once did they say to someone: Sorry, God can't/won’t heal you. Or if you believe in Jesus as the Son of God, you will be healed. It was always, 'Will you be healed?' and then BAM! They were healed right then and there!

How Hard do You Need to Push? - January 11, 2015

Church the next morning is difficult – I am too tired to even enjoy the worship. Despite the lack of energy, my hands and forearms still tingle. After Sunday lunch with the family I take a brief nap. By that evening I’m ready to try again.

This time I am determined. The call to action is still tingling across my arms. After worshiping, I focus with laser-like precision; I want to join my Lord in Heaven. Nothing else is important: not my husband beside me, not taking a breath…only one thing exists, my desire to be in Heaven with Him.

The pushing surge of energy begins after a short period of worship. It increases quickly, building in intensity. I completely ignore what it seems like my body is doing, knowing that it is only my inner being moving. Soon it seems like my body is inches off the bed with each renewed thought about going to where my Lord is.

As the next surge of energy pushes outward, the muscles around my throat constrict. The surging outward push reminds me of throwing up but the muscles in my neck are so tense that I couldn’t take a breath if anything was on its way up, it would be stuck there.

I push away the feeling of wrongness. The next surge is equally disturbing as the sensation lasts longer and is intensified. I open my eyes. This cannot be God’s way to Heaven!

God is powerful, able to heal our bodies. I’m pretty sure that He can do this without depriving us of breath.Unwilling to give up, I decide to meditate only without forcing the issue. Sleep comes before I get anywhere. Waking the next morning with tingling hands, I spend time thinking and praying about what happened the night before.

I thought God was calling me to Heaven, so I tried to get there. I strove toward it with all my might. What was the last thing God said to me: “Keep practicing until it’s time.”

When I got a glimpse of Heaven, what was I doing? I looked it up in my journal. There was no pushing, just the surge of power. Perhaps I was trying to have an out of body experience on my own. Maybe it would have been harmful, even fatal. I did ask the Holy Spirit to correct me strongly and loudly so I wouldn’t go astray…It seems I shouldn’t be pushing toward anything – even the Lord. It is in His time, not when I think it should be.

“Maybe I don’t have to include this bit…maybe I should just take all the pushing stuff out of the posts?”

Later, I speak with my mom about it. “It needs to be in the book in case someone else starts down the wrong path,” she tells me.

I sigh, “Man! I really thought I wouldn’t have as many mistakes in this part of my journey… it was embarrassing enough last time!”

I guess I know why God introduced me to my guardian angel, Richard. At this point, without that confirmation, I would seriously be considering whether going to Heaven was what God wanted at all. As it is, now I feel like I am back to square one, August 9 – the day I met the huge, powerful, straight from His throne, angel God sent to protect me. (Read that story: Click Here) Nothing like going in the wrong direction for four months!

If you want to go to Heaven and speak to Jesus, I hope you will benefit from what I have learned this day. It isn’t up to us. We can’t rush it. Ask Jesus for an audience, then diligently seek Him, worship, and wait.

An Out-of-Body Experience – January 10, 2015

The living room and dining area are filled with activity. Which kid is on dish duty? Has our Rottweiler, Sonya, been fed? It’s seven PM and Sarah, having just gotten back from her friend’s house, hasn’t eaten dinner yet. I work as quickly as possible getting the family taken care of, wondering how best to approach Tony.

“Hey, honey,” I say, deciding that the direct route is probably the best, “my hands have been tingling all the way up to my shoulders most of the day. I think God is calling me to pray or something. This is why I suggested renting a family movie: I really think I need to spend some time with God. Would you mind terribly if I didn’t watch the movie with you guys?”

“Not at all,” he gives me a hug, “go, pray or whatever.”

In less than fifteen minutes, everything is squared away and I head downstairs for some one-on-one time with the Big Guy. To cover the sound of the movie the family is watching, I play some worship music. The presence of the Lord increases, the tingling becomes heavier as I spend time singing along to the songs.

The hours fly by: at ten o’clock I am just ready to settle in for some meditation and prayer. “Is this it? Is this the call to go to Heaven?” What else can I think with the deliberate call from the Lord all day long?

Caressing, tingling power cascades down from my head to my waist as I begin thanking the Lord for all He has done, worshiping Him as God, King, and Brother. “I’m ready…” I think, “Lord, I want to be where You are.”

With all my heart and soul I focus on wanting to be in Heaven with Him, pushing toward that goal for all I’m worth. A surge of…something – power, energy – pushes outward from my breast-bone. My torso heats up as if I have a high fever or I’ve ran a marathon. The muscles where my rib-cage meet, the upper part of the abs, tense like I am doing a crunch. Each surge becomes stronger than the last until it feels like my shoulder blades are tensing and I am rising an inch or two off the mattress.

Part of my mind registers Tony entering the room. Quietly, he takes his place beside me. His arm rests on my elbow. All of this occurs in a tiny fraction of my mind while the rest of me focuses on joining my Lord in Heaven.

The surges become stronger. Energy pushes outward as my body tenses, then a second later my muscles relax: tense and rise, relax, tense and rise, relax, in a rhythmic pattern.

"What must Tony be thinking of all this rising and relaxing?" I think." I hope it doesn’t freak him out…"

The train of thought causes me to lose focus on the world beyond. The surges of energy become less, gradually fading altogether. Glancing at the clock I see it is only 11 pm. “Tony, are you still awake,” I ask, since it is a Saturday night. “Can I talk to you about something?”

“Sure,” my husband mumbles. “What’s up?”

“When your arm was resting on my elbow, did you feel me tensing and relaxing?” I ask.

“I didn’t feel you move at all,” he tells me. “You were perfectly still.”

My heart leaps in my chest. “If I wasn’t moving…” I mutter, thoughts flying lightning fast through my mind. “This means it wasn’t my body rising! My spirit and my soul must have been moving and I perceived it as my body moving!”

I squeeze Tony’s arm, “This must be why God had me wait until you were coming to bed to meditate. He wanted to teach me something…and, Honey, He used you to do it!”

Unsatisfied with a mere theory, I ask, “Will you lay like you were? I want to test this concept.” When Tony is in position, I tense my shoulder blades enough that I rise slightly off the bed, then relax back into place. It feels quite different than what I was experiencing during my meditation. I cannot seem to make the inner core of the muscles where my rib-cage meet tense like it was doing. It is an outer muscle thing, I can’t affect the inner muscles. After a few tries, I am convinced that the back and shoulder muscles are bringing me off the bed half an inch. “Did you feel that?” I ask.

“Yes, of course. You were moving,” he replies.

“If I wasn’t moving before, that means it really was my soul and spirit leaving my body!” I exclaim. “It must be why I affect the inner muscles like I was during meditation. Perhaps it wasn’t muscles at all – it was my spirit.”

I give it another try, but the pushing is exhausting. My concentration wavers, and though I am able to begin, I cannot sustain the effort for any length of time. Sometime between midnight and one AM, I doze off.

Many will Speak to the Lord - January 4, 2015

January 4, 2015

As the holiday season comes to a close, I find myself struggling. How long will I need to practice meditating? Is Tony right – God’s time is not our time; it could be twenty years? With all my past failures haunting me, I’m not sure how long I can hold on. It has been over a year since I began this path. “How much longer,” I cry out to God.

Pastor Chuck begins his message this morning by stating that he believes that this is the year of the harvest; this will be the year that we have been waiting on, the year when new Christians will fill the church in a flood.

He instructs us to open our Bibles to John 4:5. This is the story about the Samaritan woman at the well. As is my habit, I don’t stop with the few lines quoted from the pulpit; I continue reading the entire encounter. The pastor continues preaching while I am captivated by the story that is already familiar to me.

Toward the end of the story, it tells how many of the Samaritans in the town believed that Jesus was the Christ because of the testimony of the woman from the well. It says that they first believed because of what she said, then after Jesus stayed with them for two days, they believed because they had personally spoken to Him.

The quiet, but undeniable, voice of the Holy Spirit whispers to me as I read the last lines of the story, “This is you. Many will believe at first because of what you say, then many more will believe once they have spoken to Him, too.”