Thursday, February 19, 2015

How Hard do You Need to Push? - January 11, 2015

January 11, 2015

(To Heaven and Back Again series)

Church the next morning is difficult – I am too tired to even enjoy the worship. Despite the lack of energy, my hands and forearms still tingle. After Sunday lunch with the family I take a brief nap. By that evening I’m ready to try again.


This time I am determined. The call to action is still tingling across my arms. After worshiping, I focus with laser-like precision; I want to join my Lord in Heaven. Nothing else is important: not my husband beside me, not taking a breath…only one thing exists, my desire to be in Heaven with Him.


The pushing surge of energy begins after a short period of worship. It increases quickly, building in intensity. I completely ignore what it seems like my body is doing, knowing that it is only my inner being moving. Soon it seems like my body is inches off the bed with each renewed thought about going to where my Lord is.


As the next surge of energy pushes outward, the muscles around my throat constrict. The surging outward push reminds me of throwing up but the muscles in my neck are so tense that I couldn’t take a breath if anything was on its way up, it would be stuck there.


I push away the feeling of wrongness. The next surge is equally disturbing as the sensation lasts longer and is intensified. I open my eyes. This cannot be God’s way to Heaven!


Akiane was only three years old when she first went to Heaven. I’m pretty sure she didn’t have the sensation that she couldn’t breathe. Also, God is powerful, able to heal our bodies. I’m pretty sure that He can do this without depriving us of breath.Unwilling to give up, I decide to meditate only without forcing the issue. Sleep comes before I get anywhere. Waking the next morning with tingling hands, I spend time thinking and praying about what happened the night before.


I thought God was calling me to Heaven, so I tried to get there. I strove toward it with all my might. What was the last thing God said to me: “Keep practicing until it’s time.”


When I got a glimpse of Heaven, what was I doing? I looked it up in my journal. There was no pushing, just the surge of power. Perhaps I was trying to have an out of body experience on my own. Maybe it would have been harmful, even fatal. I did ask the Holy Spirit to correct me strongly and loudly so I wouldn’t go astray…It seems I shouldn’t be pushing toward anything – even the Lord. It is in His time, not when I think it should be.


“Maybe I don’t have to include this bit…maybe I should just take all the pushing stuff out of the posts?”


Later, I speak with my mom about it. “It needs to be in the book in case someone else starts down the wrong path,” she tells me.


I sigh, “Man! I really thought I wouldn’t have as many mistakes in this part of my journey… it was embarrassing enough last time!”


Kate, a dear friend of mine, agreed that it was imperative that I include this part in my posting.


I guess I know why God introduced me to my guardian angel, Richard. At this point, without that confirmation, I would seriously be considering whether going to Heaven was what God wanted at all. As it is, now I am back to August 9 – the day I met the huge, powerful, straight from His throne, angel God sent to protect me. (Read that story: Click Here) Nothing like going in the wrong direction for four months!

If you want to go to Heaven and speak to Jesus, I hope you will benefit from what I have learned this day. It isn’t up to us. We can’t rush it. Ask Jesus for an audience, then diligently seek Him, worship, and wait.

In March of 2014 I released Angels Believe in You. This book covers the last 13 years of my life:

  • Seen Angels and Demons
  • Miracles from God (medically documented)
  • Signs from God - including hearing His audible voice


All of these signs and miracles have led me to one conclusion: I believe God has been leading me, step by tiny step, on an incredible journey leading to Heaven and Back Again, not through a NDE (near death experience) but through meditation. Yes, I know it sounds a little presumptuous, a little out there, but it was not my idea. I ask repeatedly, "If this is not Your will, please let me know. I want only what You want for my life." 

What follows is the next step in this incredible journey. All blog posts concerning this journey are available in To Heaven and Back Again which is updated as the Lord continues to take me on on this incredible journey. When I actually do go to Heaven, everyone who has bought this book will be able to download the latest copy and find out what Heaven is like.

Continue the journey with me in the other To Heaven and Back Again stories:

Posts about Heaven and Angelic Encounters

Post about Meditation

Posts About Being a Prophet

Posts Chronologically About my Journey


February 2014 - In God's Time

May 4, 2014 - God and Meditation

May 14, 2014 - The Dance of Worship

July 20, 2014 - Biblical Support for the Journey

August 9, 2014 - What Does My Guardian Angel Look Like?

August 12, 2014 - No Time for the Pain

October 17, 2014 - The Difference Between With and Without

January 4, 2015 - The First Among Many

January 11, 2015 - How Hard do You Push?

March 13, 2015 - A Delay in the Trip to Heaven

March 25, 2015 - Why is it Taking So Long?

September 1, 2015 - Is the Trip Still On?

September 13, 2015 - An Official Title

September 20, 2015 - Revelation of His Calling

October 5, 2015 - Angelic Confirmation of the Appointment

October 9, 2015 - Miraculous Confirmation

December 9, 2015 - How He Leads Me

December 24, 2015 - The Last Week of 2015

January 24, 2016 - Correction, Encouragement & Dreams from the Spirit

February 21, 2016 - I'm All In

February 27, 2016 - What is a Tetrad Blood Moon Prophet

June 1, 2016 - First Test as a Prophet (Anointed by an Angel)

September 25, 2016 - Seeing Jesus

September 30, 2016 - Wrestling with God

January 2, 2017 - The Final Test - 313

 June 25, 2017 - Roadmap to Heaven

July 23, 2017 Moments with God: Finding Daddy

August 8, 2017 - Moments with God: Playing Checkers

Don't miss one step in this journey, Follow this Blog! 
(Info on the right)

Thursday, February 12, 2015

An Out-of-Body Experience – January 10, 2015

January 10, 2015

(To Heaven and Back Again series)


The living room and dining area are filled with activity. Which kid is on dish duty? Has our Rottweiler, Sonya, been fed? It’s seven PM and Sarah, having just gotten back from her friend’s house, hasn’t eaten dinner yet. I work as quickly as possible getting the family taken care of, wondering how best to approach Tony.

“Hey, honey,” I say, deciding that the direct route is probably the best, “my hands have been tingling all the way up to my shoulders most of the day. I think God is calling me to pray or something. This is why I suggested renting a family movie: I really think I need to spend some time with God. Would you mind terribly if I didn’t watch the movie with you guys?”

“Not at all,” he gives me a hug, “go, pray or whatever.”

In less than fifteen minutes, everything is squared away and I head downstairs for some one-on-one time with the Big Guy. To cover the sound of the movie the family is watching, I play some worship music. The presence of the Lord increases, the tingling becomes heavier as I spend time singing along to the songs.

The hours fly by: at ten o’clock I am just ready to settle in for some meditation and prayer. “Is this it? Is this the call to go to Heaven?” What else can I think with the deliberate call from the Lord all day long?

Caressing, tingling power cascades down from my head to my waist as I begin thanking the Lord for all He has done, worshiping Him as God, King, and Brother. “I’m ready…” I think, “Lord, I want to be where You are.

With all my heart and soul I focus on wanting to be in Heaven with Him, pushing toward that goal for all I’m worth. A surge of…something – power, energy – pushes outward from my breast-bone. My torso heats up as if I have a high fever or I’ve ran a marathon. The muscles where my rib-cage meet, the upper part of the abs, tense like I am doing a crunch. Each surge becomes stronger than the last until it feels like my shoulder blades are tensing and I am rising an inch or two off the mattress.

Part of my mind registers Tony entering the room. Quietly, he takes his place beside me. His arm rests on my elbow. All of this occurs in a tiny fraction of my mind while the rest of me focuses on joining my Lord in Heaven.

The surges become stronger. Energy pushes outward as my body tenses, then a second later my muscles relax: tense and rise, relax, tense and rise, relax, in a rhythmic pattern.

"What must Tony be thinking of all this rising and relaxing?" I think." I hope it doesn’t freak him out…"

The train of thought causes me to lose focus on the world beyond. The surges of energy become less, gradually fading altogether. Glancing at the clock I see it is only 11 pm. “Tony, are you still awake,” I ask, since it is a Saturday night. “Can I talk to you about something?”

“Sure,” my husband mumbles. “What’s up?”

“When your arm was resting on my elbow, did you feel me tensing and relaxing?” I ask.

“I didn’t feel you move at all,” he tells me. “You were perfectly still.”
My heart leaps in my chest. “If I wasn’t moving…” I mutter, thoughts flying lightning fast through my mind. “This means it wasn’t my body rising! My spirit and my soul must have been moving and I perceived it as my body moving!”

I squeeze Tony’s arm, “This must be why God had me wait until you were coming to bed to meditate. He wanted to teach me something…and, Honey, He used you to do it!”

Unsatisfied with a mere theory, I ask, “Will you lay like you were? I want to test this concept.” When Tony is in position, I tense my shoulder blades enough that I rise slightly off the bed, then relax back into place. It feels quite different than what I was experiencing during my meditation. I cannot seem to make the inner core of the muscles where my rib-cage meet tense like it was doing. It is an outer muscle thing, I can’t affect the inner muscles. After a few tries, I am convinced that the back and shoulder muscles are bringing me off the bed half an inch. “Did you feel that?” I ask.

“Yes, of course. You were moving,” he replies.

“If I wasn’t moving before, that means it really was my soul and spirit leaving my body!” I exclaim. “It must be why I affect the inner muscles like I was during meditation. Perhaps it wasn’t muscles at all – it was my spirit.”

I give it another try, but the pushing is exhausting. My concentration wavers, and though I am able to begin, I cannot sustain the effort for any length of time. Sometime between midnight and one AM, I doze off.


In March of 2014 I released Angels Believe in You. This book covers the last 13 years of my life:

  • Seen Angels and Demons
  • Miracles from God (medically documented)
  • Signs from God - including hearing His audible voice


All of these signs and miracles have led me to one conclusion: I believe God has been leading me, step by tiny step, on an incredible journey leading to Heaven and Back Again, not through a NDE (near death experience) but through meditation. Yes, I know it sounds a little presumptuous, a little out there, but it was not my idea. I ask repeatedly, "If this is not Your will, please let me know. I want only what You want for my life." 

What follows is the next step in this incredible journey. All blog posts concerning this journey are available in To Heaven and Back Again which is updated as the Lord continues to take me on on this incredible journey. When I actually do go to Heaven, everyone who has bought this book will be able to download the latest copy and find out what Heaven is like.

Continue the journey with me in the other To Heaven and Back Again stories:

February 2014 - In God's Time

May 4, 2014 - God and Meditation

May 11, 2014 - A Glimpse of Heaven

May 14, 2014 - The Dance of Worship

May 21, 2014 - Where Can You Meditate?

June 7, 2014 - Preparing for Meditation

July 12, 2014 - A Solo Mission

July 20, 2014 - Biblical Support for the Journey

August 9, 2014 - What Does My Guardian Angel Look Like?

August 12, 2014 - No Time for the Pain

October 17, 2014 - The Difference Between With and Without

December 27, 2014 - What is Heaven Like? (a map)

January 4, 2015 - Many will Speak to the Lord

January 11, 2015 - How Hard do You Push?


January 18, 2015 - Questions for Christ

March 13, 2015 - A Delay in the Trip to Heaven

March 25, 2015 - Why is it Taking So Long?


September 1, 2015 - Is the Trip Still On?

September 13, 2015 -An Official Title

September 26, 2015 - The Path is Open

October 5, 2015 - Angelic Confirmation of the Appointment

October 9, 2015 - Miraculous Confirmation

November 23, 2015 - 313

Don't miss one step in this journey, Follow this Blog! 
(Info on the right)

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Being Prayed for in a Spirit Led Church - Ask Mom



During my journey with God, recorded in the non-fiction book  Angels Believe in You, I call upon Mom for spiritual advice quite often.

Readers have contacted me, interested in Mom's advice. I thought a line, directly to the source, might be nice.

The book, To Heaven and Back Again records all the spiritual events that have to do with meditation and Heaven. The Ask Mom blog contains aspects of my life where I consulted with Mom. Below is a guest post from Mom's blog.

Dear Mom, 
 My family has recently began attending a church that is more Spirit let. People speak in tongues and are often healed when they are prayed for by the pastor or one of the elders. I have wanted to return to this type of church for many years and the opportunity recently arose, praise God!
One of the women at the church invited me to
her home to worship: a small group of women from our church meet there every Thursday. The hostess, lets call her Hayden,  played songs on the TV where the words were displayed. Five of us women sang along and worshiped the Lord.

 I was very much enjoying the presence of the Lord when Hayden came over to


me and began praying for me. Well, it was not so
much a prayer as a rebuke. I’ve been a Christian for many years and I love correction from God for the Bible says, “God corrects those He loves.” (Prov. 3:12) However, in this case, the correction was something that God has dealt with me about several years ago.


Thursday, February 5, 2015

Many will Speak to the Lord - January 4, 2015

January 4, 2015

(To Heaven and Back Again series)

As the holiday season comes to a close, I find myself struggling. How long will I need to practice meditating? Is Tony right – God’s time is not our time; it could be twenty years? With all my past failures haunting me, I’m not sure how long I can hold on. It has been over a year since I began this path. “How much longer,” I cry out to God.


Pastor Chuck begins his message at Higher Ground Worship Center this morning by stating that he believes that this is the year of the harvest; this will be the year that we have been waiting on, the year when new Christians will fill the church in a flood.

He instructs us to open our Bibles to John 4:5. This is the story about the Samaritan woman at the well. As is my habit, I don’t stop with the few lines quoted from the pulpit; I continue reading the entire encounter. The pastor continues preaching while I am captivated by the story that is already familiar to me.

Toward the end of the story, it tells how many of the Samaritans in the town believed that Jesus was the Christ because of the testimony of the woman from the well. It says that they first believed because of what she said, then after Jesus stayed with them for two days, they believed because they had personally spoken to Him.

The quiet, but undeniable, voice of the Holy Spirit whispers to me as I read the last lines of the story, “This is you. Many will believe at first because of what you say, then many more will believe once they have spoken to Him, too.”

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

What is Spirit Writing?

Billye Brim
Billye Brim’s Christian heritage is rich. She sensed the call of God in early childhood. However, it was only after an encounter with the Holy Spirit in 1967, that she as a young wife and mother of four began to follow Him to walk out her call. Later in life, she also taught at Rhema Bible Training Center.

Immediately after ordination in 1980 she traveled to Soviet Russia in what proved to be ongoing ministry there. Since then she has literally ministered around the world several times over.

She recounts an encounter with spirit writing:

Once I was staying at my in-laws. All the women had gone shopping. When I walked into house, they had a great big place on lake, I saw the men and the kids leaning over the table - they were just mesmerized. The cousin was doing spirit writing: They would ask a question and he would write out the answer.

I walked in and I was furious that they were doing that with my children in the room. You don't have to scream, demons are in the spirit and you can easily communicate with them. I said very quietly, "In the name of Jesus, I take authority over you right now. You stop that!"

So, over there is a big kitchen, and dining and great-room area, that man started doing push-pulls. He wasn't getting any letters, his hand just kept going up and down. He said, "What's wrong here, my spirit guide isn't giving me any answers." He began asking, "Oh spirit guide, please give us the answer! Give us the answer..."

I'm over at the door and I say, "Go ahead, give them the answer. Tell them why you cannot preform." I thought it was going to write out Jesus but it wrote out Billie: demons are dumb, it misspelled my name: Billye.