My husband, Tony, drives us toward Taco Time -- one of our favorite places to grab a cheap lunch. I rub my eyes sleepily. "Another long night meditating?" he asks.
"I wish. Since it's Sunday, mind if we talk about God for a bit?" I reply hesitantly. Although Tony has come a long way in his walk with God, I know that at times he is frustrated by my focus on Him, or perhaps by His lack of direct communication at times. (See post on June 7, 2014: Click HERE)
"Sure, what's going on?" Tony says.
"A new acquaintance messaged me last week. Her daughter, Delaney, is in the hospital. Kori asked me to pray for her. Of course I said a quick prayer on the spot, but last night I brought Delaney before the Lord as I was entering meditation." I sigh. "What I saw while I was praying, well, I won't say for absolute sure that it was God – after all, I made up my own fantasy world for my first series of books...but I will say that I hope it is what God intends."
Tony waits patiently for me to continue. Gathering my thoughts, I decide to start at the beginning. "When God first spoke to me, and healed me miraculously of my deviated septum and allergies, my first thought was: Wouldn't it be great if God was telling me that whoever I prayed for would be healed, just like it was with the disciples of Jesus? But I was told that was impossible, that God doesn't work that way. Then when I went to those large gatherings of Christians, I saw for myself: there were always some that didn't receive their healing - many were very upset about it.
"This last year God has made it very clear that I am going to Heaven – I even met Richard, the angel that watches over me 24/7. (See that story, click HERE) I firmly believe I will get to speak to Jesus, who was the Christ in person, sooner rather than later. God has given me advance notice and I have come up with some pretty intense questions for the Lord.
“The Bible says:
- As He was in this world, so are we. (1 John 4:17)
- And these signs will accompany those who believe...They shall lay hands on the sick and they shall recover. (Mark 16:18)
"Lord, after you appeared to the disciples in all your glory and they knew you were God, not once did they say to someone: Sorry, God can't/won’t heal you. Or if you believe in Jesus as the Son of God, you will be healed. It was always, 'Will you be healed?' and then BAM! They were healed right then and there!
"Peter didn't even have to lay hands on the sick. It says that wherever he went, people would line the streets, because if his shadow touched them, they would be healed. (Acts 5:15)
"I will ask, Lord, why isn't this being done today? Is it like some say – the time for such as this has passed? If it is Your will, Lord, tell me, anoint me for your work and I will boldly declare the Gospel and fulfill the great commission of Mark 16:18.”
I tell Tony, "I really don't want to be presumptuous. If this isn't His will, He will tell me and people will finally have their answer straight from the source. But could it be that is why He is calling me to Heaven, so that He can anoint me as He did His disciples?”
Tony says, "I will be very interested in His answer...but you still haven't told me what you saw."
"When I talked to the Lord about Delaney, I saw me praying for people in Jesus' name and all being healed." Tears cloud my eyes as pictures of the hurt and suffering spring into my mind. "Not some or most, but all. And remember, on January 4th He said that many would believe because of me, and many more would believe because they actually spoke with Him."
The next day, I drive toward downtown Boise to do my grocery shopping at Winco. Kori and Delaney have been heavy on my heart. I have no wish to give false hope, not until I hear undeniably from the Lord. Without much thought, as if I am on auto-pilot, I text Kori to see how Delaney, her four year old daughter, is doing. Within seconds I get a reply:
"We are in the PICU now...she needs more support."
I have Kori on the line a minute later. She has read Angels Believe in You, so she is aware of my expected journey. Carefully, I relate the experiences I had shared with my husband. I stress that I do not know what answer I will receive when I ask my question – the last thing I want to do is give false hope.
I ask Kori, "I would like to meet Delaney, if you are up to having visitors, it that is okay? I want to be able to picture her clearly in my mind when I speak to the Lord."
Half an hour later, I am striding toward the PICU at Saint Luke's downtown. I pray in the Heavenly Language along the way and ask the Holy Spirit to be with me, to guide me strongly, and to help me be strong.
This is not a step I've taken lightly. I am a very empathetic person. As a result, I abhor violence. When I was a kid, I couldn't watch the Rocky movies; I had to close my eyes when they were fighting. I have never visited a children's hospital – it is heartrending to see children suffer, and the parents alongside them. At the mere thought of entering such a place, everything inside me screams, "They are innocent...why, Lord, why?"
During the visit, I meet Delaney and ask Kori, "Should the answer be yes, pray and they all shall be healed, if you are no longer in the hospital, I was hoping you might meet me at my church. If you are here, I hope you will allow a visit, possibly with a camera to record God's glory?"
Kori tells me, "Just let me know and I will be there or I will see you here." Before I leave, she tells me, "A short time ago, I had this dream. The first bit was kind of weird. Delaney and I were at a therapy camp. The dogs had these weird tubes on to keep them afloat, though dogs can swim. I called to Delaney and said it was time for therapy. She ran to her tricycle and pedaled over to the therapist cabin. When our session started, the therapist asked if Delaney had started walking yet. 'Walking?' I replied, 'She is running and tying her shoes!' The thought of this caused me to begin laughing hysterically – my six-year-old has trouble tying his shoes, and Delaney is only four. The laughter woke me from the dream."
I ponder Kori's dream on the way out. By the time I reach my car, I decide to call Mom. Over the years, Mom has been a mentor to me spiritually, however, in the case of my impending trip to Heaven, she has said, "I have not received any leading one way or the other, so that is between you and the Lord." We are both mature Christians, so she still enjoys hearing about things that are going on and supplies information as she is led by the Spirit, but many times she remains silent.
As I begin to tell her about the experiences over the last two days, she interrupts me, "Honey, the desire of the heart for most ministers is to pray in His name and have everyone healed, but that is not the way it is. Healing is a gift given from God and it isn't for us to decide. It is a matter of faith. One tiny doubt can throw a wrench into the whole thing."
"Mom, I have been in the presence of the Lord in a vision. I know what it will be like – every ounce of my being will automatically KNOW that this is God. I won't need to think about bowing or how to bow, my body will drop to its knees and my head will go to the floor because it knows this is where it should be. And when I am in the actual presence of the Lord, even if I don't ask aloud the questions, He will know my heart and answer it for me. He won't bring me all that way to leave me wanting. And if He says something like He anoints me or He will be with me and it shall be done, won’t I have the same faith as the disciples? After all, He told them and they did it! So when He, the King of Kings, the Lord God Almighty, says that it will be so – how could I not have 100% faith from that point on?"
What do you think?
- Is it wrong to ask?
- Has it all been a coincidence? (There is no word for coincidence in the Hebrew language – the language of God's people. Everything is a sign for spiritual enlightenment.)
- Do you want to know what He says?
- What would you ask?
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