Saturday, October 1, 2016

Wrestling with God - September, 2016

Seeing Jesus wasn’t as… easy… as I thought it would be. It took me three days to be able to speak about it without sobbing. (Click Here for that story) Even so, the emotion of the encounter kept my eyes overflowing as I recounted the event to Mom. You would think this personal appearance and emotional connection would have placated my desire to learn from Him in Heaven, but it had quite the opposite effect.

Throughout the week I kept thinking of all the people who worshiped Him just the way I did, yet, did He appear to them? Mom, sisters, friends… All wanted to encounter Him. Why didn’t He appear to more people?

My husband slept quietly beside me. Exhaustion tugged at me, yet I couldn’t sleep. “Lord, for years Tony has asked for a single word from you – it would mean so much to him, yet You remain silent.” Emotion begins to swell from somewhere deep inside. My thought become an anguished cry, “Why do you remain silent when a single word from you would mean so much to so many! You have given me so much and others so little…WHY?”

I listed each of the answers that people had given me when I had asked why God speaks to some and not to others:

Ø  It would eliminate the need for faith.
Ø  He can’t because of our sin.
Ø  He speaks when it is necessary.
Ø  It would violate our free will.

As I mentioned each one I gave Bible stories and verses that showed why none of these applied to what I knew of Him from His word. Consumed with anguish for all those who seek Him, I declared, “I cannot work for a God I do not know. You must tell me why a good and kind God doesn’t talk to creation or I cannot go on working for you!”