God and Meditation - May 4, 2014

May 4, 2014

My eyes close as I softly whisper my nightly ritual, “Father, I thank you for this wonderful day and for the gift of Your Son, Jesus. I thank You for the life He lived and the life He gave for us. I plead the blood of Jesus over my body, my home, my possessions, and the works of my hand. I thank You that this is a barrier that no evil can transgress.”

I continue my prayers silently in my head, chatting with my Heavenly Father for a short while before asking God what I should be doing this week and petitioning Him once again to let me know if it is not His will for me to go to Heaven and back again.  The facts I know about Heaven ease through my thoughts: There is a tree of life in Heaven. It is said that the leaves bring healing to the nations. “Could I bring back leaves? A handful would mean my parents would be in perfect health, along with my family.”


As it has happened regularly since November 2013, my hands begin to tingle all the way up to my elbows as if they are falling asleep. This is not the first time I’ve had this sensation when I pray: when God healed my deviated septum my hands tingled in much the same way. 

Jeshua - Age 14 the Missing Years

While I wait for an answer, a thought springs into my mind: In 2001, in a vision, I fell to my knees and called a young boy Lord. On Akiane Kramarik’s website, I recognized this young boy who appeared to me in one of her paintings, “Jeshua - The Missing Years.” The portrait depicted Jesus at the age of fourteen. Her book, Akiane - Her Life, HerArt, Her Poetry tells how everything she wrote was inspired by God, even words that she capitalized. 

(The entire story of God’s many miracles that have taken place in my life can be found in Angels Believe in You)

On her website, the description of Akiane’s painting says: “During one of his meditations, Jesus is talking with his Father in Heaven about the new earth, where only joy and peace would reign.”

“Hmmm,” I think to myself, “Jesus appeared to me in a vision as a young boy – I didn’t even know it was Jesus or why I bowed and called Him Lord until I recognized Him in Akiane’s painting. This very same painting has the caption about Jesus talking to God in Heaven – clearly showing that Jesus is IN Heaven.”

I continue to let the pieces of the puzzle click into place in my thoughts, “ ‘Lately I’ve heard pastors quote the Bible over and over, telling us that it says ‘as Jesus was in this world so are we...’ ” 

“Lord, it really seems as if you have put things in my life over the years that really point to the fact that You want me to visit Heaven. I pray if this is Your will, I trust You to help me do this.” When God takes me to Heaven, I know the muscles in my body will be totally relaxed. I don't want to wake return to find my body aching from an awkward position... 

There is a game I used to play with my kids when they were little called “I’m sleeping.” I would relax my body completely and no matter what they did I would remain asleep. They would try and pick up my arms or move my head, yet I was completely unresponsive. I use this technique now, relaxing my entire body as I often do when I am trying to get to sleep. 

With my muscles limp, I think very clearly, “I thank You God for taking me to Heaven and back again.” I concentrate on God, focusing my mind on Him. The tingling in my hands and arms increase as I continue to think about God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit and repeat these words.

I begin to experiment, saying the words out loud. My mind wanders for a minute;

the tingling ebbs. When I focus on God again, it starts to build again. Past experience, along with a medical study, shows us that the brain is inactive when we pray in the Heavenly Language. I let the Holy Spirit take charge of my mouth. Words flow out as I keep my thoughts focused on one of the members of the Trinity. The tingling increases from my elbows to my head and even extends to my feet!

The words slow as my chest begins to feel heavy. It is a long time in between breaths. “Has my body forgotten how to breathe?” I reject the panic that begins to creep in for I trust God completely. I encourage my body to remain relaxed. It takes a while to become accustomed to this slower, more sedate type of breathing, but eventually it begins to feel normal. My body and mind are at peace and I don’t feel tired in the least! Quite the opposite, I feel more energetic than when I first lay down.

Without warning, an invisible, intangible part of my being in my lower abdomen tries to lift out of me; the muscles in my right thigh spasm. On occasion, when you are on the verge of sleep, do all your muscles ever involuntarily contract? Or is that just something that happens to me? It is not unlike that, but it seems to be limited to the muscles around my right thigh.

“Lord, if that isn’t You, please do not let it happen again,” I think, knowing I had already plead the blood so it had to be Him.

I continue concentrating on the members of the Trinity and repeating the phrase over and over again in my mind. The tugging sensation comes again, stronger this time with the spasm now encompassing my whole lower body. I focus and try to will my muscles to relax. The frequency of the spasms and tugging sensation increases along with the intensity; relaxing after each incident becomes second nature. The next pull feels like part of me is being lifted several feet into the air and will break away. A spasm causes my shoulder blades to pinch and my back to arch off the bed. My body relaxes almost before it settles back onto the mattress.

My bladder becomes insistent on being emptied. “I peed like a racehorse not too long before I started praying,” I think. “I shouldn’t have to go again!” When the sense of urgency fails to dissipate, I go to the bathroom to end the distraction. To my surprise, I empty an almost full bladder. When I return to bed I glance at the clock: 2 A.M. I realize that I have been praying for at least three hours!

As I begin to think the same phrase over and over, “I accept that whatever happens, I am in God’s hands,” the muscle spasms lessen and the tugging becomes a slow, even pull. The small, quiet voice of the Holy Spirit says, “Not tonight, but keep practicing this until it is time.”

I believe it won’t be long now!

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