More Coincidences? - April 1, 2015

April 1, 2015

My husband Tony was tossing and turning, so I knew he was still awake. "Hey, Honey, can I tell you what God just pointed out to me when I was talking to him?" I ask.

"Sure," he sighs, surely thinking that maybe this God stuff will lull him into sleep.

Jeshua - The Missing Years

"Akiana's painting, the one where I recognized the child that I bowed to and called "Lord:" the one that convinced me that God wants me to visit Jesus in Heaven through meditation. The caption in her book, Akiana: Her Life, Her Art, Her Poetry, says 'Jeshua - The Missing Years.' It talks about how Jesus at the age of fourteen visited his Father in Heaven during one of His meditations."

I sum it all up for my husband, "This is the fourteenth year since God spoke to me in an audible voice. Fourteen years since I began walking with the Holy Spirit."

"People can connect all the dots when they really want something to be true. The truth is you still haven't gone to Heaven."

"Think of this as a theory then. There is absolutely no evidence of a "big bang," yet you believe in the theory because scientists point to things that make it seem like a plausible answer. Isn't there enough supporting evidence about going to Heaven to convince you, yet?"

Why is it Taking So Long? - March 25, 2015

March 25, 2015

As I got comfortable for the night, my thoughts speaking to the Lord aren't exactly respectful: “What's up with this? All day today your presence has been surrounding me and now that I'm here, ready to meditate, You don't even call me? I thought we were practicing for Heaven?”

Silence surrounds me. The Big Guy offers no guidance.

“What's different from right now and earlier today?” I ask myself. “Well, I was worshiping and His presence surrounded me. But right now I don't FEEL like worshiping. I am so tired of waiting! It's been over a year...”

In a flash of insight, a supernatural gift from the Holy Spirit, I see myself, my actions, in a whole new light: It is like a kid who knows that you have bought them an Xbox for Christmas, yet throws a tantrum when you walk by the video game aisle in the store because they want the game NOW!

My heart crumbles and my attitude changes. “Lord, I am so sorry. This is your gift, I will try to be more patient. You know, I always thought that the reason You were so often frustrated with your disciples was because they had not yet been given the Holy Spirit; of course, they were a little slow to comprehend things. But I have been actively working on listening to the Spirit for fourteen years and still I throw a tantrum, acting like a spoiled child.” The presence of God tingles across my body, letting me know I’m on the right path.

Thinking about this a bit more, I add, “I just don't understand what You are waiting for. I know that visit Heaven will be the beginning that will help so many!”

Tears cascade down my cheeks. Into my mind flashes the dream I had many years ago: in part of it I saw tent cities across the nation as thousands upon thousands were homeless. This is connected to the trip to Heaven? This is all tied together? Unable to deal with the information I’ve just been given, I whisper, “Tony, are you sleeping?”

“Huh?” He rolls over. “What’s wrong?”

“I’ve been talking to God. I really don’t like what I think I’ve heard…” Tears are coming faster now, a steady stream, “Can I talk to you about it?”

My husband nods. In short, quick terms I explain what I understand about events being connected to His greater plan. “So let me get this straight…you’re upset about something that might happen when the first thing, going to Heaven, hasn’t even happened yet?”

“That’s just it, Honey. I really believe God is answering my questions about why it’s taking so long to go to Heaven. Do you think I should still go even if it means that there will be a domino effect leading to another Great Depression?”

Tony applies logic to my emotional response, “You said that you are just trying to do what God wants, right?” I nod. “And it is Jesus who is bringing you to Heaven?”

“Yes,” I reply, knowing I can’t get there without Him.

My husband concludes, “Then what happens is on Him, not you. He’s the one in charge, not you. If it is tied to a world-wide event, then it is His will and His choice.”

Giving him a hug, I say, “Thank you, Honey. That really helps.”

Tony rolls over, going back to sleep. The fierce tingling that I’ve taken to mean He is calling me to practice descends. Laying on my back, I attempt to relax into meditation. Thanking the Lord for granting me wisdom and worshiping Him, power flows from my head to my shoulders.

Again, the scene of tent cities flashes through my mind. Tears spill over my cheeks as I think once again about the kids who will be without a warm bed. “Lord, the night before You went to the cross, You prayed so fiercely trying to avoid it that You sweat blood. Give me this night to morn for what is coming: for those who will suffer.”

The tears ease and I begin to hear Him speak once again, “This is why I helped you create Agape (uh-ga pei) Assistance Association. It is to provide for people during this time.” (The story about Agape Assistance Association can be found in Angels Believe in You.)

This helps me get more control over my emotions. “So You are providing for Your people like You did with Joseph in Egypt.” The basic details flow through my mind:

God sent Joseph two dreams in which he saw, in essence, his brothers bowing down before him (represented by sheaves of wheat). Joseph’s brothers already resented him because their father favored him, so when Joseph told them about these dreams, they sold him as a slave.

For the next fifteen years Joseph went through many trials, but eventually he came to the attention of Pharaoh. Joseph became the second in command of all of Egypt. God guided him to store food during seven years of abundance for the seven years of famine that would follow. (Find the full story of Joseph here)

 “You sent him dreams and You spoke to me when you sent me a vision. Why didn’t you tell him about the famine when you sent the dreams?” I ask.

The answer comes in a soft thought, “He was still a teenager – still a child. Today you decided to stop being a child. Joseph found out about the famine when he needed to do something: save the surplus food for the famine.”

It’s hard to miss the similarities to my journey:

1.    2001 – God speaks, saying, “I bless you…Miraculously…Financially,”  and gives me a vision

2.    I’ve been struggling for 14 years trying to figure out when God’s promise will come to pass

3.    2009 – God helps me create Agape Assistance Association to give kids a warm bed

4.    2014 – God tells me that He wants me to visit Jesus in Heaven through meditation.

5.    2015 – God tells me that a Great Depression will fall upon America and Europe around the time I am visiting Heaven.

“Lord, when did you know your journey would lead to the cross?” I ask. The answer comes, “When I was no longer a child. This is why my mother needed to prod me to begin my ministry at the wedding (His first miracle where He turned water into wine). I knew where it would lead and wanted to wait as long as possible.”

“Man, I totally understand that,” I think, “Suddenly I’m in no hurry to get to Heaven. Not that I don’t look forward to seeing you, but it means the time is approaching where so many will lose everything! I will be ready whenever you call, but there’s no hurry. I now have all the patience in the world.

“I’m glad you warned me about what is to come, but I can’t write about this in my blog” I tell Him, “People will think I’ve got delusions of grandeur or that I’m just one of those crazy end-of-the-world doomsayers.”

“Some will read it and believe. For some it will be too late, but for others this will sound an alarm and they will prepare: cancelling their cable, their cell phones, saving every penny to pay off all their bills or make a nest egg. When it hits, they will not be on the streets.”

I sigh, knowing that if it will help one family I have to write it. They thought Noah was crazy for building the ark…I suppose I will be in good company.

The next day, I am still struggling. It’s hard to find joy in anything when you know that so much suffering is not far off. A good friend of mine. She has enthusiastically supported me through this crazy journey.

“God uses everything for the good of His people,” she tells me.

As soon as I hear those words things click into place. God isn’t causing the Great Depression, neither is my trip to Heaven. We are in a period of grace – God poured out his wrath on Jesus and isn't punishing us! The world has grown greedy. People are abusing their power. The collapse of the economy is going to happen anyways. God knows what is going to happen and He is setting up something to help His people!

First, God will show his grace and mercy by bringing people to Heaven to see the glory Christ has for us. 

They will be sent out across the world to bring hope to those in need. Then, when the economy collapses, Agape Assistance will be there so that I can use His financial blessing to help provide for people.

This is the God I know. He is filled with kindness and compassion. He is our provider. 

Why Doesn't God Speak to Me?

Eager hearts cry out, hoping for a single word to confirm that He hears us. Yet, many times the only sound is silence. Over the years I have heard several reasons why God speaks to some and not to others. One night, as I tossed and turned, I brought each of these reasons before the Lord, stating why each of them did not line up with who I thought He was. 

Words rose from my soul, pleading for Him to reveal why He has remained silent when a single word from Him would mean so much to so many. For the next few hours, God used things I learned about years ago and things I had just discovered to show why He talks to some and why He doesn’t, and in demonstrative ways. 

In His grace, He also showed me how people could hear more from Him. Basic instructions on how to hear more from God and how to be led by Him are included in this book. Thank you for taking time to consider the answers I received and share with you now.

Click here for a free copy of this book at Amazon.

Don't miss one step in this journey, Follow this Blog! 

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A Delay in the Trip to Heaven - March 13, 2015

March 13, 2015

Kelly Lowe is the daughter of a friend of mine. When I heard how the justice system had failed her, I was appalled. This is the year 2015, not 1950. Weren't men more enlightened? Didn't women have equal rights? How could our American justice system tell the victim of a rape that there was no justice for her because she left her two kids and husband at home while she went out drinking with her sister?

There had to be something I could do. In February 2015, I contacted Kelly to see if she would be willing to let me start a Facebook rally to draw attention to this situation. We hoped that "Hold Him Accountable" would get the attention of the national news media.

Afghanistan Veteran Fights to Bring her Rapists to Trial

Woman Warrior – an Afghanistan Veteran – Fights for Justice for ALL Women in the USA

By Lynn Hardy

Mark Jernigan, the only DA in Roscommon County, Michigan, told Kelly Lowe, "No jury will convict this man of rape when you (Kelly) left your husband and two boys at home to go out drinking with your sister."

Kelly asked, "Are you saying that if a married woman goes out and gets drunk without her husband that she deserves to be raped?"

The prosecuting attorney chuckled and said nothing.

Despite the compelling evidence, Kelly is refused a trial:

• Rape kit verifies assault
• Blood on clothes because Kelly punched him in the nose
•  Eye witnesses who came running when they heard Kelly yell and saw the rapist running from the room with a bloody nose
• The rapist confesses as the police record the conversation
• The lieutenant of the reporting officer asks the DA to prosecute

What Heaven is Like (A Map) - December 27, 2014

December 27, 2014

My tingling hands rest on my stomach, notifying me that the Holy Spirit is with me. Of course, He is always with us, perhaps “active” is more accurate. Instead of relaxing into meditation, I start a conversation, “I know I will be going there soon, but it sure would be nice to find out what Heaven is like now. It would be helpful to kind of have a map of the place before I get there.”

Images and information come quickly into my mind:

All light comes from God – it is part of Him that permeates every inch of Heaven. It isn’t only light, it’s feeling: comfort, joy, peace, hope. It is as much a physical thing as water in the ocean. The closer you come to God, the more “presence” you feel. It is better than any drug you’ve ever taken.

Questions for Christ - January 18, 2015

My husband, Tony, drives us toward Taco Time -- one of our favorite places to grab a cheap lunch. I rub my eyes sleepily. "Another long night meditating?" he asks.

"I wish. Since it's Sunday, mind if we talk about God for a bit?" I reply hesitantly. Although Tony has come a long way in his walk with God, I know that at times he is frustrated by my focus on Him, or perhaps by His lack of direct communication at times. (See post on June 7, 2014: Click HERE)

"Sure, what's going on?" Tony says.

"A new acquaintance messaged me last week. Her daughter, Delaney, is in the hospital. Kori asked me to pray for her. Of course I said a quick prayer on the spot, but last night I brought Delaney before the Lord as I was entering meditation." I sigh. "What I saw while I was praying, well, I won't say for absolute sure that it was God – after all, I made up my own fantasy world for my first series of books...but I will say that I hope it is what God intends."

Tony waits patiently for me to continue. Gathering my thoughts, I decide to start at the beginning. "When God first spoke to me, and healed me miraculously of my deviated septum and allergies, my first thought was: Wouldn't it be great if God was telling me that whoever I prayed for would be healed, just like it was with the disciples of Jesus? But I was told that was impossible, that God doesn't work that way. Then when I went to those large gatherings of Christians, I saw for myself: there were always some that didn't receive their healing - many were very upset about it. 

"This last year God has made it very clear that I am going to Heaven – I even met Richard, the angel that watches over me 24/7. (See that story, click HERE) I firmly believe I will get to speak to Jesus, who was the Christ in person, sooner rather than later. God has given me advance notice and I have come up with some pretty intense questions for the Lord.

 

“The Bible says: 

• As He was in this world, so are we. (1 John 4:17) 

• And these signs will accompany those who believe...They shall lay hands on the sick and they shall recover. (Mark 16:18)

"Lord, after you appeared to the disciples in all your glory and they knew you were God, not once did they say to someone: Sorry, God can't/won’t heal you. Or if you believe in Jesus as the Son of God, you will be healed. It was always, 'Will you be healed?' and then BAM! They were healed right then and there!

How Hard do You Need to Push? - January 11, 2015

Church the next morning is difficult – I am too tired to even enjoy the worship. Despite the lack of energy, my hands and forearms still tingle. After Sunday lunch with the family I take a brief nap. By that evening I’m ready to try again.

This time I am determined. The call to action is still tingling across my arms. After worshiping, I focus with laser-like precision; I want to join my Lord in Heaven. Nothing else is important: not my husband beside me, not taking a breath…only one thing exists, my desire to be in Heaven with Him.

The pushing surge of energy begins after a short period of worship. It increases quickly, building in intensity. I completely ignore what it seems like my body is doing, knowing that it is only my inner being moving. Soon it seems like my body is inches off the bed with each renewed thought about going to where my Lord is.

As the next surge of energy pushes outward, the muscles around my throat constrict. The surging outward push reminds me of throwing up but the muscles in my neck are so tense that I couldn’t take a breath if anything was on its way up, it would be stuck there.

I push away the feeling of wrongness. The next surge is equally disturbing as the sensation lasts longer and is intensified. I open my eyes. This cannot be God’s way to Heaven!

God is powerful, able to heal our bodies. I’m pretty sure that He can do this without depriving us of breath.Unwilling to give up, I decide to meditate only without forcing the issue. Sleep comes before I get anywhere. Waking the next morning with tingling hands, I spend time thinking and praying about what happened the night before.

I thought God was calling me to Heaven, so I tried to get there. I strove toward it with all my might. What was the last thing God said to me: “Keep practicing until it’s time.”

When I got a glimpse of Heaven, what was I doing? I looked it up in my journal. There was no pushing, just the surge of power. Perhaps I was trying to have an out of body experience on my own. Maybe it would have been harmful, even fatal. I did ask the Holy Spirit to correct me strongly and loudly so I wouldn’t go astray…It seems I shouldn’t be pushing toward anything – even the Lord. It is in His time, not when I think it should be.

“Maybe I don’t have to include this bit…maybe I should just take all the pushing stuff out of the posts?”

Later, I speak with my mom about it. “It needs to be in the book in case someone else starts down the wrong path,” she tells me.

I sigh, “Man! I really thought I wouldn’t have as many mistakes in this part of my journey… it was embarrassing enough last time!”

I guess I know why God introduced me to my guardian angel, Richard. At this point, without that confirmation, I would seriously be considering whether going to Heaven was what God wanted at all. As it is, now I feel like I am back to square one, August 9 – the day I met the huge, powerful, straight from His throne, angel God sent to protect me. (Read that story: Click Here) Nothing like going in the wrong direction for four months!

If you want to go to Heaven and speak to Jesus, I hope you will benefit from what I have learned this day. It isn’t up to us. We can’t rush it. Ask Jesus for an audience, then diligently seek Him, worship, and wait.

An Out-of-Body Experience – January 10, 2015

The living room and dining area are filled with activity. Which kid is on dish duty? Has our Rottweiler, Sonya, been fed? It’s seven PM and Sarah, having just gotten back from her friend’s house, hasn’t eaten dinner yet. I work as quickly as possible getting the family taken care of, wondering how best to approach Tony.

“Hey, honey,” I say, deciding that the direct route is probably the best, “my hands have been tingling all the way up to my shoulders most of the day. I think God is calling me to pray or something. This is why I suggested renting a family movie: I really think I need to spend some time with God. Would you mind terribly if I didn’t watch the movie with you guys?”

“Not at all,” he gives me a hug, “go, pray or whatever.”

In less than fifteen minutes, everything is squared away and I head downstairs for some one-on-one time with the Big Guy. To cover the sound of the movie the family is watching, I play some worship music. The presence of the Lord increases, the tingling becomes heavier as I spend time singing along to the songs.

The hours fly by: at ten o’clock I am just ready to settle in for some meditation and prayer. “Is this it? Is this the call to go to Heaven?” What else can I think with the deliberate call from the Lord all day long?

Caressing, tingling power cascades down from my head to my waist as I begin thanking the Lord for all He has done, worshiping Him as God, King, and Brother. “I’m ready…” I think, “Lord, I want to be where You are.”

With all my heart and soul I focus on wanting to be in Heaven with Him, pushing toward that goal for all I’m worth. A surge of…something – power, energy – pushes outward from my breast-bone. My torso heats up as if I have a high fever or I’ve ran a marathon. The muscles where my rib-cage meet, the upper part of the abs, tense like I am doing a crunch. Each surge becomes stronger than the last until it feels like my shoulder blades are tensing and I am rising an inch or two off the mattress.

Part of my mind registers Tony entering the room. Quietly, he takes his place beside me. His arm rests on my elbow. All of this occurs in a tiny fraction of my mind while the rest of me focuses on joining my Lord in Heaven.

The surges become stronger. Energy pushes outward as my body tenses, then a second later my muscles relax: tense and rise, relax, tense and rise, relax, in a rhythmic pattern.

"What must Tony be thinking of all this rising and relaxing?" I think." I hope it doesn’t freak him out…"

The train of thought causes me to lose focus on the world beyond. The surges of energy become less, gradually fading altogether. Glancing at the clock I see it is only 11 pm. “Tony, are you still awake,” I ask, since it is a Saturday night. “Can I talk to you about something?”

“Sure,” my husband mumbles. “What’s up?”

“When your arm was resting on my elbow, did you feel me tensing and relaxing?” I ask.

“I didn’t feel you move at all,” he tells me. “You were perfectly still.”

My heart leaps in my chest. “If I wasn’t moving…” I mutter, thoughts flying lightning fast through my mind. “This means it wasn’t my body rising! My spirit and my soul must have been moving and I perceived it as my body moving!”

I squeeze Tony’s arm, “This must be why God had me wait until you were coming to bed to meditate. He wanted to teach me something…and, Honey, He used you to do it!”

Unsatisfied with a mere theory, I ask, “Will you lay like you were? I want to test this concept.” When Tony is in position, I tense my shoulder blades enough that I rise slightly off the bed, then relax back into place. It feels quite different than what I was experiencing during my meditation. I cannot seem to make the inner core of the muscles where my rib-cage meet tense like it was doing. It is an outer muscle thing, I can’t affect the inner muscles. After a few tries, I am convinced that the back and shoulder muscles are bringing me off the bed half an inch. “Did you feel that?” I ask.

“Yes, of course. You were moving,” he replies.

“If I wasn’t moving before, that means it really was my soul and spirit leaving my body!” I exclaim. “It must be why I affect the inner muscles like I was during meditation. Perhaps it wasn’t muscles at all – it was my spirit.”

I give it another try, but the pushing is exhausting. My concentration wavers, and though I am able to begin, I cannot sustain the effort for any length of time. Sometime between midnight and one AM, I doze off.

Many will Speak to the Lord - January 4, 2015

January 4, 2015

As the holiday season comes to a close, I find myself struggling. How long will I need to practice meditating? Is Tony right – God’s time is not our time; it could be twenty years? With all my past failures haunting me, I’m not sure how long I can hold on. It has been over a year since I began this path. “How much longer,” I cry out to God.

Pastor Chuck begins his message this morning by stating that he believes that this is the year of the harvest; this will be the year that we have been waiting on, the year when new Christians will fill the church in a flood.

He instructs us to open our Bibles to John 4:5. This is the story about the Samaritan woman at the well. As is my habit, I don’t stop with the few lines quoted from the pulpit; I continue reading the entire encounter. The pastor continues preaching while I am captivated by the story that is already familiar to me.

Toward the end of the story, it tells how many of the Samaritans in the town believed that Jesus was the Christ because of the testimony of the woman from the well. It says that they first believed because of what she said, then after Jesus stayed with them for two days, they believed because they had personally spoken to Him.

The quiet, but undeniable, voice of the Holy Spirit whispers to me as I read the last lines of the story, “This is you. Many will believe at first because of what you say, then many more will believe once they have spoken to Him, too.”

The Difference Between "With" and "Without" - October 17, 2014

October 17, 2014

The trials of the last month fade away as I recall how the Lord has confirmed that this is His will for me. I am going to Heaven! Maybe not tonight, maybe not even tomorrow, but He has confirmed it: I'm going. (See this story by clicking here). 

The time in between breaths becomes long as my body completely relaxes. Inside, I rejoice, praising the Lord for His goodness. I am going to Heaven! My spirit soars with joy. Tingling power flows across my body in a strong wave each time I breathe out. Again and again power floods through me like waves of a torrential downpour. 

My spirit becomes unsettled... something isn't right. The waves of energy, they are so strong but different than before. The thoughts bring an end to the surging power. What was missing? Immediately a thought slides into my mind. I wasn't worshiping the Lord, the Father and the Spirit, I was rejoicing because I was going to Heaven.

Again I relax my body. This time I focus on who Jesus is, the awesome the love of the Father, worshiping with every fiber of my being. Gentle waves of energy cascade over me like waves at the beach, surging, building, warm gentle... This is the power from God!

The core of my being is gently pushed outward, once... twice... I lose count, embracing the moment. When the power ebbs I think about what occurred: 

There seems to be a natural power in meditation and power that comes from God. If you are following me in this journey, if the Lord is calling you to visit Him in Heaven, make sure and worship Him in your meditation.

FREE Books

Believers' Boot Camp series

Why Doesn't God

Speak to Me?

Keys to Authority

for Every Believer

Destroying Curses in the

Courts of Heaven

Many people think of boot camp as a place you train for combat. Any veteran will tell you that basic training is about three things:

• Knowing what weapons are available 
• Learning how to use those weapons 
• Receiving orders and following them 

Believer’s Boot Camp series is a collection of books which teach us how to hear more clearly from God with the goal to ready ourselves for a face-to-face meeting with our Lord, Jesus. The series reveals the “weapons and tools” God has given us and how to use them, so we can bring God’s kingdom to Earth. Each book in the series focuses on a single topic to clearly define one tool or weapon from our Heavenly Father. 

The series uses the Word of God to reveal all that He has given us through Jesus. The Bible is our instruction manual and the Holy Spirit is our guide to understanding it.

Why Doesn't God Speak to Me?

Eager hearts cry out, hoping for a single word to confirm that He hears us. Yet, many times the only sound is silence. Over the years I have heard several reasons why God speaks to some and not to others. One night, as I tossed and turned, I brought each of these reasons before the Lord, stating why each of them did not line up with who I thought He was. 

Words rose from my soul, pleading for Him to reveal why He has remained silent when a single word from Him would mean so much to so many. For the next few hours, God used things I learned about years ago and things I had just discovered to show why He talks to some and why He doesn’t, and in demonstrative ways. 

In His grace, He also showed me how people could hear more from Him. Basic instructions on how to hear more from God and how to be led by Him are included in this book. Thank you for taking time to consider the answers I received and share with you now.

 Free at Amazon

FREE at Nook

Keys to Authority for Every Believer

There is untapped power that is easy for every Christian to access in the form of authority. The keys to this authority will unlock weapons we can use to free ourselves from the attacks of the enemy. We must be intimately aware of the bounds and limitations of our weapon if they are to be used effectively. 

Find out about your authority:

• Why you need it. 
• Where it comes from. 
• What you can do with it. 
• How to get more.

No Time for the Pain - August 12, 2014

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Hurried steps bring me to the print shop next door. If I am going to get these books out before I leave for the soccer tournament in Portland, I'd better hustle, I think, ignoring the ache in right hip. I slide the stack of books into the trimmer leaning forward slightly to check the placement. Pain shoots down the back of my leg. When I turn to grab the next set of books, moving my right leg is agony like I haven't felt in a long time.

Something is wrong, very wrong. "John, something is not right in my lower back." I tell the owner of the shop, "I'm not going to be able to help with the rest of the books."

"You didn't pick up anything heavy, did you?" He asks.

What Does My Guardian Angel Look Like? - August 9, 2014

My back and neck ache from long days at work. I roll to my stomach to stretch the muscles as I begin my nightly prayers. My hands begin to tingle almost immediately. Too tired to roll over, I relax and begin worshiping the Lord.

I picture the Lord and Heaven before me, but my mind insists that up toward the ceiling, up towards the sky is the direction where Christ is. “Heaven is all around, there is no up or down, it is right in front of you,” whispers, the Holy Spirit. I recall the movie Enders Game and how they had to train their minds about movement in space. Peace surrounds my heart as my mind places the picture of the Lord somewhere before me, right in the middle of the mattress.

Biblical Support for the Journey - July 20, 2014

July 20 2014

Seated in the third row of chairs, I tune out the basic message I’ve heard so many times, hoping that at least Tony is getting something from this service.

“Lord, I really haven’t made any breakthroughs in months now…” I pray, determined not to waste this time of devotion. “Since that first night I haven’t felt that powerful pull. Am I still going in the right direction? Is there something more I need to be doing? Please forgive my lack of faith, but I have been wrong so many times…”

I refocus on the world around me. The pastor says, “This is the longest prayer ever recorded that Jesus prayed, just before He went to ask the Father to take this task from Him:

A Solo Mission - July 12, 2014

July 12, 2014

“Tony,” I whisper, “God is calling me into prayer and meditation. Do you want to hold my hand?”

My husband rolls over and takes my hand. I remain relaxed and whisper instructions to him, “Focus on God, on all that He has done for us. Talk to Him in your mind.”

Having already had a short prayer time, I begin worshiping and meditation. God’s presence falls quickly in gentle waves across my body. “Can you feel that?”

“I don’t feel anything.” He shrugs.

“I guess this is a solo thing,” I mutter softly. “Sorry.”

“No worries,” Tony says as he rolls over to go to sleep.

I guess Jesus never took his disciples with Him, and I believe He has called and is enabling me to do what He did… holding my hand will not bring my husband with me.

In March of 2014 I released Angels Believe in You. This book covers the last 13 years of my life:

• Seen Angels and Demons
• Miracles from God (medically documented)
• Signs from God - including hearing His audible voice

All of these signs and miracles have led me to one conclusion: I believe God has been leading me, step by tiny step, on an incredible journey leading to Heaven and Back Again, not through a NDE (near death experience) but through meditation. Yes, I know it sounds a little presumptuous, a little out there, but it was not my idea. I ask repeatedly, "If this is not Your will,
please let me know. I want only what You want for my life." 

What follows is the next step in this incredible journey. All blog posts concerning this journey are available in To Heaven and Back Again which is updated as the Lord continues to take me on on this incredible journey. When I actually do go to Heaven, everyone who has bought this book will be able to download the latest copy and find out what Heaven is like.

Continue the journey with me in the other To Heaven and Back Again stories:

Preparing for Meditation - June 7, 2014

June 7, 2014

I slide into the chair, picking at my favorite selection of salad from the unlimited buffet. “Are you feeling okay?” Tony asks.

“Just a little tired.” I hesitate briefly before continuing. “I was talking to the Lord until after 1 A.M. last night.”

“But you said you came away rested after you meditated?” He asks. “Why are you so tired?”

“It wasn’t meditating, it was more active, like talking,” I sigh. “Maybe you can help me with it. I can’t seem to stop thinking about it today.”

He nods, seeming interested in the conversation. I can’t believe this is the same man who wanted to throw out my family Bible because I never read it. “I have been trying to be more diligent in what the Lord told me to do. He said, ‘practice.’ For the last few weeks I have tried to meditate and pray more often, at least three times every week, but I keep hitting a wall. My thoughts are scattered – it’s hard to stay focused. The presence of the Lord is so light, it’s hardly there!